A Bunions weekend - My first, first hand experience by Gary Stokes

Friday 7th November 2003, the weather was perfect and the prospect of a fine weekend looked good. I picked Clive Pendrey up late afternoon and we headed for the M4 in Suzuki style. As we approached Wales, the sun, a brilliant red ball in the sky, was beginning to set over the horizon. It seemed to be the perfect photo opportunity, but stopping on the new Severn crossing to take a photo did not seem like a good idea. We left the car park they call the M4 and headed up the A470 towards Brecon. We eventually left this road and headed along a narrow country lane towards our destination. This was the type of road where meeting something coming the other way wasn't an option. Suddenly I slammed on the brakes. Sat in the centre of the road minding his own business, was a hare. We waited momentarily for the hare to move, but it wouldn't. I eased forward. This was enough to cause a reaction from the hare. Would he run off to the grassed area at the sides of the road? Answer, no! He just ran straight ahead of us, zig zaging occasionally while using the headlights as a guided beacon. "Run over it" Clive joked. (well I think it was a joke). After what seemed like a mile, but was probably only 200 yards, the hare gave in and let us pass. Ten minutes later we were at our home for the weekend.

We greeted everyone with the shake of a hand and were shown to our rooms. It wasn't long before we were all off down the pub for a few jars and a meal. The journey to and from the pub was an interesting one. Cliff Turner's car is fitted with a talking GPS, so it was like being in an episode of 'Knight Rider'. The night was clear and the moon was full. Back at the farm we were away from light pollution, so Dave Wiles decided to get out his telescope (ooh Matron). We did some moon gazing and I even saw a shooting star.
While the others gathered in the lounge to watch a movie on the 'long tv' (see Laurence Tindell for an explanation)' I had decided to get an earlyish night. As I was dozing off, the last thing I remembered hearing was a voice in the distance far louder than the rest. It was.... John Birch. All of a sudden I was woken up. Were we under attack? Should I dive for cover under the bed?  Panic over. It was only my room mates. Dave'The Chain saw' Wiles and Roger 'The Walrus'Morrish. Never had I experienced such severe snoring. This posed the question. Do Donna and Jenny wear ear defenders in bed?

I woke the following morning to a distant voice which seemed far louder than the rest. It was ....John Birch. Had he actually been talking all night? After breakfast we cleared up and Roger was already beginning to prepare the evening meal. Those of us going on a walk made our own packed lunches and set off to our starting point. The great thing about this weekend is the way everyone can do their own thing. You can spend the day at the farmhouse and watch movies on the 'long tv' or do some flower arranging; you can sit by the reservoir and do a water colour; you can go on a short walk or you can go on a long walk. I decided to go on the long walk up Pen-Y-Fan. This was a brilliant walk led by John Garrett.  The wind was gale force at the top and the mist spoilt what should have been great views. However, the mist did clear once in a while to provide us with some stunning scenery.

After a hot bath we had a lovely evening meal cooked by Roger (the cooking has made up for the snoring). Saturday was Dave's birthday, so we celebrated it by sharing out the single muffin which 'The Knight Rider' had managed to buy earlier in the day along with a card which we all signed. After the clearing up, we retired to the lounge for a Bunions session. Although the farmhouse is very spacious and adequate in many respects, what did let it down were the sofas. They were the kind of sofas that looked perfectly comfortable, but when they were sat in, one discovered that the springs had long disappeared and that your bum ended up on the floor.
Mark Ryder had prepared his Bunion in advance (probably a month) and had it all typed out ready. He read it aloud and it certainly caused some amusement. Shortly afterwards Mark did a quick impression of Roger courtesy of a foxes tail which I had previously hooked over the back of my jeans for a cheap laugh. Soon afterwards we settled down to watch a movie. I had elected to sit on the floor  for two reasons. Firstly it was marginally more comfortable than the sofas and secondly there were no seats left anyway. Another day was over and it was up to bed for a second instalment of 'King Kong goes ape with a chain saw'.

The following morning after another hearty breakfast, it was time for prayer and worship  followed by communion. The time was approaching 11-00am and as this was Remembrance Sunday, a minutes silence was agreed upon. The clock upon the kitchen wall had not been wound up for some while, but it had stopped at exactly 11o'clock. The silence began. After what I reckoned was 59 seconds, a familiar voice broke the silence. This proved one thing to me. Not that my watch was wrong, but it was impossible for John Birch to stay silent for more than one minute!

After the usual clearing away of crockery, it was time for everyone to go about their chosen activity. One group went walking in search of the mystery bomber. ( It is actually a stealth plane, hence why no one can find it). Some hung around the house to read or just talk. Mark and I went for a stroll down by the reservoir. After a snack lunch, preparation was under way for the evening meal. At one point I decided to nose through an old cupboard which was stuffed full of old paperwork. I came across an old invoice which was dated 1896. I guess that was when the farmer had bought the sofas.

It was soon supper time. The meals were always something to cherish, but this time pork was on the menu. Now pork is the one meat that I dislike, but not to seem ungrateful, I'd thought I'd try it anyway. Well thanks to Roger's exotic cooking it went down a treat. (Don't tell the wife otherwise I'll get pork every week). After the meal it was time for Clive and I to hit the road. We bid our farewells and set about the journey home. It was the first rain we'd seen all weekend and it never stopped until we reached the border to England.

This was a superb weekend. I thought we had all bonded well together. If there was one thing that I'd contributed to this weekend, then I would like to think it was a sense of humour.
Now being the optimist that I am, let's all look forward to next year.