ASTRONOMERS CONTINUE TO DISCOVER MORE AND MORE GALAXIES WITHIN OUR UNIVERSE.

HOWEVER, ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT RECENT DISCOVERIES, HAS BEEN THE EXISTENCE OF DORMANT BLACK HOLES. UNTIL RECENTLY ONLY ACTIVE BLACK HOLES WERE VISIBLE AND WERE THOUGHT TO BE A RARE PHENOMENON.

IT IS NOW THOUGHT THAT EVERY GALAXY HAS A BLACK HOLE, INCLUDING OUR OWN, WHICH IS CURRENTLY DORMANT. SHOULD THIS DECIDE TO BECOME ACTIVE, OUR PLANET AND INDEED OUR GALAXY WOULD BE CONSUMED AND HENCE COME TO A RATHER ABRUPT END. PROBABILITY SUGGESTS THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN IN SEVERAL THOUSAND OR EVEN SEVERAL MILLION YEARS TIME - OR POSSIBLY NEXT TUESDAY.

SHOULD THIS OCCUR, DO I NEED TO RENEW MY TV LICENCE, OR MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILL GOD STILL EXIST AND IF SO WILL HE START AGAIN AND CREATE A NEW HEAVEN AND EARTH ?

NOTE - HIDING UNDER THE KITCHEN TABLE OR OTHER STURDY STRUCTURE WILL NOT HELP IN THIS INSTANCE. Mark Ryder

 

Brethren Bunions - a smile - Dave

The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly
Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and
Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.

St. Peter says,
"Well, Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot
about you. I must inform you that the place is filling up fast,
so we've been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The
tests are short, but you have to pass them before you can get into
Heaven."

Forrest responds,
"It shor is good to be here St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt
me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain't too hard; life
was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions...Here
is the first one: What days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second: How many seconds are there in a year?

Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St.
Peter who waves him up and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think
the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest says,
"Well, the first one-how many days in the week begin with the letter
"T"? Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.

The Saint's eyes
open wide and he exclaims, "Forrest, that's not what I was thinking,
but ..... you do have a point, and I guess I didn't specify, so I'll
give you credit for that answer." How about the next one?" asks
St.Peter.

"Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess
the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St.Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you
come up with twelve seconds in a year?"

Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, ........

"Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going with this, and I see your
point, though that wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I'll have to
give you credit for that one, too. Let's go on with the next and last
question. Can you tell me God's first name"?>

"Sure"
Forest replied, "its Andy."

"Andy?!"
exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. "Ok, I can understand
how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but
just how in the world did you come up with the name of Andy as the first
name of God?"

"Shucks,
that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it from
the song. . . "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME
I AM HIS OWN.......>

St. Peter opened
the Pearly Gates and said: "Run Forrest, run."

Question

When I started work for BT, or Post Office Telecomms, as it was then known, I met a colleague and friend called Phil.

As part of a college project , and also to further our own interests, which were music and electronics, we formed a Company known as "DOHM Electronics".

Phil I believe, was a Christian, although it didn't seem to have any importance to me at the time. However, through his church I was introduced to two guys who had formed a musical duo called Steve and Steve. DOHM Electronics produced over time a number of pieces of audio and studio equipment which they used on an ongoing basis.

Steve and Steve later went on and produced an LP of Christian music under the name of "FISH CO" on the Myrrh record label. What an odd name for a band, I thought.

Bearing in mind that this happened about 22 years ago, I was completely dumbfounded when 2 weeks ago God spoke to me and said "It's the Fish".

My bunion is this - Why do we stick Fish on the backs of our cars ?

"Baby on board" stickers on cars, I suppose are used to notify the Fire and Ambulance services, that in the event of a car accident, look for the baby which could supposedly become trapped or hidden under a seat or whatever.

In the event of an accident, and with a Fish in full view on your boot lid, will the emergency services look for the Christians first, and if so how would they recognise them ? Mark Ryder