Dave Wiles reports, and our comments at the December meeting.................

“We are pilgrims on a journey, We are brothers on the road, We are here to help each other, Walk the mile and bear the load.”

History: This group was started in Bath during 1995. It grew out of a spiritual friendship between Robin Noad and Dave Wiles which was developed over several years, the intention of this friendship was to actively share something of our own spiritual development (warts and all!) with each other in order to develop as committed disciples of Christ. We met on a monthly basis and used our time together to share openly about our spiritual pilgrimage, often offering each other:

·         Advice and guidance based on our experience

·         Our own understandings of scripture, life the universe and everything

·         A listening ear

During 1995 we decided that we should open this opportunity to meet to others and decided to form an informal group called ‘Bunyans’ or ‘Bunions’. The deliberate ambiguity over the spelling of the group’s name offers the potential to either perceive it as relating to John Bunyan, with the obvious association with his Pilgrim’s Progress, or with the condition allied to an ailment of the foot and human journeying!

The Groups development: The group has never formalised in the sense that it has no constitution, it does not advertise and it has no formal leader/s. It has attracted some 50 – 60 different men, although it has never been ‘agreed’ that it is solely for men. Several women have attended. Most meetings have been attended by between 6 – 14 men. The group is ecumenical and has attracted a diverse range of theological perspectives amongst those who attend. However, it would be true to say that it is predominantly ‘evangelical’, ‘charismatic’ or ‘renewed’ Christians who come. Several people use the group who would not necessarily describe themselves as ‘Christian’. The group meets on the last Wednesday of each month in a pub (The Ring of Bells) on the outskirts of Bath (Priston). Alan Yeates has established a www site about the group, which he describes as ‘a site for sore souls’, this can be found on www.ayeates.f9.co.uk/. A residential has been organised for the past 4 years by Roger Morrish.

What happens at the group: In essence all those who attend have the opportunity to share a Bunion/Bunyan with the rest of the group. A ‘Bunion/Bunyan’ has, in my opinion, best been described as, ‘an irritant of spiritual pilgrimage’. A Bunion/Bunyan may vary in presentation length from a brief question to a 5 or 10 minute presentation. However, once delivered the Bunion/Bunyan is always discussed and reflected upon with the rest of the group.

There are no fixed rules about a Bunion/Bunyan, they have been simple and/or profound, theologically competent or theologically naïve, academic, sociological, psychological, anthropological, experiential, artistic, poetic, story based and a wide range of other classifications. The Bunion/Bunyans are of course ‘lubricated’ with good ale and the occasional pub victual! On occasions the group has been too large to stay as a single group and it has divided into sub-groups, an ideal number is about 10. I believe that two important principles have been observed in the group process, these are:

·         That everyone has opportunity to take part

·         That everyone’s contribution is valued

Aims of the group: These have never been articulated, I therefore offer the following as my own perceptions, based on my reflections of what we have achieved:

·         An opportunity for men to reflect on their own particular spirituality

·         A place for friendship, camaraderie and fellowship to develop and grow

·         Space to express concerns, doubts, questions, learning, encouragement and insights about Christianity

The ethos of the group: The culture and ethos of Bunion/Bunyans has evolved over the years, I believe the group is characterised by:

·         Openness and honesty with each other

·         Acceptance of difference

·         Permissions to disagree, debate and explore in a caring environment

·         Mutual respect and support

·         An encouragement for all to participate in a non-threatening and voluntary way

Key learning in relation to the group’s development: The ‘journey’ of Bunion/Bunyan has led me to offer the following reflections on the development of men’s groups:

       i.        Men do have a distinct spirituality. I would hesitate to describe it as ‘masculine’ however; the opportunity to reflect in a singe sex group seems to be of great value.

      ii.        The ‘informal’ nature of the group has been both a strength and a weakness. An example of this is that the spontaneity and openness is attractive to some whilst others (who are looking at the group from the ‘outside’) have felt excluded as the group has not been ‘advertised’ as ‘open’.

     iii.        Formal, recognised, strong and up-front ‘leaders’ may not help any group’s development, they can be over relied upon to contribute and make things happen. However, someone in the group needs to be aware of group processes/dynamics ensuring that the culture and ethos is developed and protected.

    iv.        A core group, who are committed to each other and the group, is key in establishing the culture and behaviours of the group.

     v.        Alcohol has never been a problem in our Bunion/Bunyan group; indeed at times it has helped to reduce inhibition and provided some with the boldness to contribute. However there are obvious dangers that may need to be monitored.

What the bunion/bunyan’s say about the group: I have asked some of the men who use the group to comment on what it means to them and a sample of their reflections are offered below:

·         One of the strengths of Bunions is that there is not a laid down formula or any restriction to the seriousness or otherwise of the subjects talked about. This means a relaxed atmosphere and an honest response - it's not a housegroup and not a pecking order - no-one wins or loses, and if anybody talks rubbish we can always blame the beer! (at least I do) (A.Y)

·         Bunions for me is something I look forward to once a month, where I can meet in a friendly atmosphere, discuss, give my opinion, listen to others opinions, or just sit there and say nothing and not feel threatened. (J.W)

·         The culture today demands that men maintain that they're aloof
of those personal deepest thoughts, that innermost search for truth,
What power the cross can have on lives about to break apart
That men might cry and feel as one to bind those aching hearts (C.G.)

·         The group has been a real lifeline to me at times when my "journey" has been distressing and bewildering, and a real joy when things have been going well. It's rare to find a group where everyone has the opportunity to talk and be listened to - we make time for this. The pub venue adds and informality to the meetings, and means that no-one has to be responsible for hosting the meetings. The format means that everyone can bring along a contribution, and you never feel that it's too silly, trivial or serious, because all contributions are acceptable. Altogether, Bunyans is very special! (G.W.)

·         bunions is for me a safe place to offer and receive help and advice have a laugh and relax (L.T.)

·         From my point of view, Bunions is all about freedom of speech, freedom of thought, freedom of expression, and freedom of the spirit. The total lack of structure, agenda, and order, means that Bunions can go in what ever direction conversation may take it. The fact that we can talk about God and our faith in a truly supportive environment allows us to look deeper at our beliefs. My slogan would be - Come to Bunions and turn acquaintances into friends. (M.R.)

Dave Wiles, December 01 2001